Derek's stance
by Flowerbudd
Summary: Derek lives through the final part of the finale


Derek exhaled, and stood still for a minute, trying to understand what he had just said. He wasn't the kind of man who let his emtions speak for him. Yet, somehow he had no control over the torrent of words that had just poured from him. Stop looking at her.. how could he? She was everything. He sensed her turn towards him and looked up, afraid to see what was in her eyes. She was looking at him, her eyes asking what he had just said. He looked into her eyes for a second, and before he knew what he was doing he stepped towards her, his hands on either side of her face, and met her lips. She leaned into him instantly, her body remembering how to be held by his. Her arms came up and encircled him, one hand twined in his hair. He felt her in his arms. He pulled back and rained kisses on her face, and in her hair. Her smell filled his nostrils, lavender.. He met her lips again, tenderly, wanting to savor what he had imagined, dreamed, and longed for all this time. His hands ran through her long silky hair, roving crazily down her small back and tiny waist, to her thighs. He couldn't stop, he didn't even want to. He kissed her, tasting her, her neck, her chest, her lips again. His fingers hooked her panties, and she shifted slightly enabling him to pull them down. He deftly slid them down over her heels and moved between her legs. She encircled him with her legs as she helped him shrug out of his jacket, dropping it to the floor. Her hands were running all over him. It felt like he was next to a radiant heater, the heat coming off their bodies. Everywhere her fingers ran, tingles went down his spine. He worked his lips back up her chest, to her mouth, devouring her. His hands were emeshed in her hair, he pulled her head backto expose her slim throat, and laced it with his tongue and lips. Her skin was gooseflesh from his warm breath. He opened his eyes, wanting to see her and make sure it wasn't a dream. She was looking at him too, as if to do the same. It felt so natural , a smile played across his face. Finally he could give into the urges he had lived with and couldn't control any longer. Her eyes made love to him. He was unwilling to let her go, ever. Taking her tiny hips in his hands, he shifted himself closer to her, and felt her fingers come down to his fly. He impatiently helped her to open his trousers and before he could think he was lying down over her and inside of her. It took every ounce of self control to stop himself for a second or lose it. She opened her eyes and looked at him, and he met her lips again. She moved against him, and he willed himself to let her take the lead. Her body was so tiny and molded to him, he hadn't forgotten that it was like this, but the intensity suprised him. "Slower, " he gasped, " I want this to last." The mews and sounds coming from her were enough to make him explode, let alone the sensations. He felt her start to climax around him, and regretfully he drove faster and deeper into her, bursting inside of her. It was if he was posessed, addicted. He didn't want to leave her body or let go of her. He held her for a minute, but she started to shift underneath him. She pushed him off her and leapt off the table, looking around. "What does this mean?" he asked her as he pulled on his jacket. She ignored him, asking about her panties. "Meredith...What does this mean?" He looked into her eyes. Willing her to answer him, smile, do anything to indicate she was glad it had happened. "help me look for them, and fix your tie." she said distractedly. He stepped to her, and held her arm in his hand, "Meredith.. what does this mean?" She looked at him panicked, and then the door opened. Dr. Torres. Derek turned around to fasten his pants. Horrified that someone had come in, he didn't want her to feel ashamed of what they had just done. It was too perfect to be wrong. She looked back at him and he nodded at her to tell her it was ok, before she rushed off. Dr. Torres gave him an evil glare, and he looked away, waiting for her to leave. Straightening his tie, he cursed the gods. He looked down at himself to see if he was presentable, and noticed his show on something black and lacy.. the panties. He picked them up and stuffed them into his coat pocket. He couldn't go back to the prom yet. He didn't want to see Addison. She would remind him that he didn't have Meredith ...yet. He headed out of the exam room and to the men's room. There he washed his face, and stared at himself in the mirror, gripping the sink with his hands. Was he a bad person? Full of guilt, of shame, of remorse? Remorse, never. He wouldn't change what had just happened for anything. He would not regret making love to the love of his life. He had to tell her. He loved her. Derek Shepherd loves the crazy little intern. Everything about her. She was so tiny, but so bossy. And her delicate frame made him want to hold her and protect her. He chuckled remembering her almost taking on Alex, with her tiny little fists clenched in anger. And she felt everything so intensely, no wonder making love to her was so powerful. He loved how strongly she felt emotions. Except.. the sadness and hurt he had put in those eyes. He wanted to take it all away. He wanted to take her to the land he had bought and build her a gigantic house overlooking the water and hold her and make love to her every time he had the impulse. He wanted to hear her laugh again, for him. He had never had so much fun as when he was just hanging out with her. He sniffed, he could smell Meredith all around him, all over him. He couldn't bring himself to wash it away. He wanted to smell like Meredith. He wandered out of the men's room and over to the bridge. He paused there for several minutes, leaning on the railing, reliving every detail. Finally, he decided he had to go back, and tell Addison.

Coming out of the elevator, he saw her and Finn standing talking. "Where have you been?" she asked him. He muttered something, he wasn't sure what, and then heard the Chief call him. He turned around, relieved. He couldn't tell Addison here, and now. He owed it to her to let her be somewhere private. He wondered if she could smell Meredith's scent on him. At Bailey's indication, he spun around and saw Izzy, George, Alex and Meredith coming in a straight line. Like a funeral parade. He scratched his face distractedly while she walked by him, not able to look, but not able to look away either. He caught Addison's eye as he turned. She knew. He willed Meredith to look at him, but she refused. Finally she glanced at him, and he met her eyes. He couldn't tell what she was thinking. Stunned at Izzie's speech, he watched her walk like a queen down the stairs flanked by the men. Would Meredith follow? "I guess that puts .. an end to the evening." Addison said, the question in her voice obvious. "Yeah" he said, looking at her, feeling horrible for the pain he saw. She turned away to him, to the Chief and walked out. He didn't move. Finn walked by him, and he loked over his shoulder briefly, not wanting to see what Meredith would do. "Come on, I'll drive you home" he heard Finn whisper to her. He looked, and saw her start to turn, then stop as she looked on him. He turned to look at Finn, who was blindly walking, expecting her to follow him, then looked at Mer. She looked sadly at Finn, and he stopped finally and saw she wasn't coming. He looked at Finn, at the suprise on his face. Finn looked at him in shock, and he smiled. Meredith was his. "Meredith.." he called out to her softly. She looked at him, and he inclined his head, calling her to him. Finn called out to her, and she turned to look at him slowly. He was looking at Derek. Derek couldn't help the superior smile on his face. Finn had no idea what he was trying to seperate. She paused, looking from one to the other, confused. She met Dereks' eyes, and volumes were passed between them without words. She turned finally to look at Finn, with sadness and regret. She hadn't meant to hurt him. But there wasn't anything else that could come between Derek and Meredith.


End file.
